What i want
by devious-me
Summary: Sesshomaru is to be wedded to a demoness but what happens to Rin? Will they be together or will the Demoness and Sesshomaru end up married?
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha although I wish I did.**_

When I looked into your eyes I saw what I've never thought I would have seen deep in its depths. I know that you know very well what it is but you choose not to acknowledge it. So tell me why ignore it when I know what you really feel. Why ignore what's really in your heart and I can see right to it? I try to help but you push me away, what have I done to you to deserve this? Grasping him I held him down and looked deep into those amber eyes. I can see the love but he won't let it out. I finally figured out that he no longer needs me here by his side. "Milord I see now that you no longer wish for me to stay here." I get off him and walked away when I heard my name called. "Rin come sit we need to talk." I walked over and sat down across from him and wouldn't look him in the eye. "Rin, I'm going to be getting married, and I want you to respect my mate like you respect me." I was shocked I couldn't understand why now that he chose to tell me. "I understand milord. I'll be on my best to your mate like I am behaving towards you." I slowly got up and walked towards my room I didn't even notice him calling my name to get me to come back. Shutting and locking my door I fell to my knees and cried my eyes out. This is the first time in years that I've done this.

What I didn't expect was Sesshomaru knocking on my door to get me to open. I dried my tears and got up. "Rin open the door we need to talk still." I know I couldn't face him not when I'm like this so I made up an excuse. "Milord I'm tired, please if you would be kind to leave my door I would like to sleep in peace." Just saying that doesn't seem right. It seems to be working as he stopped knocking and walked away. When I know that he was gone I changed into my sleeping kimono and laid in bed just waiting for sleep to take over me. The next day came like a flash. I was under the sakura tree just reading my book when I saw a beautiful demoness walk by and stood right in front of me. "May I help you milady?" She just looked at me with disgust I saw it very clearly in her eyes. "You must be Rin. Sesshomaru-sama was telling me all about you." Right then and there I knew this was the demoness who was to become the lady of the west. "Yes and who might you be milady?" I closed my book and stood up and bowed in respect. "I'm Yumi, soon to become lady of the west." I looked at her and saw what she wanted from milord and I decided it was best to get ready to leave. "It's finally nice to meet you milady, but will you excuse me I would like to return this back to the library." She nodded her head and I can tell already that when she becomes lady of the west I'll be kicked out for good. I walked past her and into the palace heading for the library when Jaken comes around the corner. "Rin you silly child, Sesshomaru-sama is looking for you and is waiting in his study to talk to you." I only nodded and walked to the library to put the book away and continued on to milord's study.

As I got there I heard voices speaking. One belonged to milord and the other I couldn't figure out until I finally found out when milord said her name. "Milord I suggest that you send that human away. She doesn't belong here at all. She will only get in the way between us." I couldn't believe what I'm hearing. "Rin will stay if she wants this is her place to her and if she wants to leave then she will leave I'll not force her." I could feel the tears forming in my eyes and I'm trying hard to not let them fall. "Well when we mate I'll make sure that she's gone from my sites. I can't stand her and I only met her not too long ago." I couldn't hold back my tears anymore as they fell down. I saw Sesshomaru sniffing around and I turned around and bolted as fast I can to my room. When I reached it I slammed the door shut and locked it. I heard thunderous knocks and I couldn't take it I just wanted to be left alone. "Rin come out we need to talk about things." "I'm sorry milord but I'm not feeling well please if you would excuse me for the day." "Rin we need to talk about things that we didn't finish last night now open the door." "Milord please I just want to rest." "Either you open the door and we talk about this or you can miss dinner tonight." "I'll miss dinner now please leave I want to be left alone."

**this is my second fanfic so please enjoy.**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha although I wish I did.**_

He walked away and now is the time for me to pack my things and leave. I quickly packed my kimonos and a few of the jewelry that I was given for my past birthdays. Thinking about the gifts I realized that I'm turning eighteen tomorrow and no one cared. When I was done there was a knock on my door and soon realized that it was my maid, Yuna. I didn't want her to know but I couldn't help it she was my best friend. I went to open the door for Yuna and she came in as I quickly shut the door. She looked at me then to my bed and found that I was packing. "Rin what are you doing?" "I'm packing, what does it look like I'm doing?" "Where are you going and why are you packing anyways?" I couldn't tell her but then again she was my best friend since I've been here. "I'm leaving Yuna, milords soon to be mate hates me and she wants to get rid of me when they mate. Please don't tell anyone about this." "But Rin what will I do without you. I can already tell that she hates all of us here knowing that we all get along with you." "I'm sorry Yuna but I don't want to be a burden to Sesshomaru-sama so please if you may don't tell anyone that I'm leaving. I'll write to you when I'm safe." "Alright Rin, but Sesshomaru-sama won't like this." "It's alright he won't even know that I'm gone anyways. He'll be too busy with his new mate to even notice." "Well here I wanted to give you this for your birthday tomorrow but you won't be here.

I looked at what Yuna had given me. It was a hair clip that I've always wanted. Thinking back I remember looking at it one day when Yuna and I were walking in the village to buy a few things and came across it. "It's beautiful Yuna, thank you." "Don't worry about it Rin. I've bought it after you left." "I'll wear it alright so I'll always remember you." "Thank you Rin I appreciate that you take me as such a good friend. I'll miss you dearly. When do you plan on leaving the palace?" "Well I was thinking when everyone is asleep then I'll just sneak out and they would never know." "Rin it's dark and dangerous outside when night falls. What if you get killed by another demon?" "Don't worry Yuna I'll be fine besides I've learned to defend myself from Sesshomaru-sama throughout the years I've been here." "That's very true but just be careful Rin alright? Well I've got to get going now. I'm sorry Rin and Happy Birthday." "Don't worry and thank you Yuna. Take care of yourself and your mate." With that conversation over Yuna left and I know that she won't be telling anyone anything of my disappearance anytime soon. I continued to pack and waited for the time to come for me to leave. After about an hour or two later I've realized that no one is awake and it's time for me to move. I grabbed my things and crept out of my room and walked down the hall as quietly as I can without being heard. When I reached the front gates the guards were asking me where I was going. "Lady Rin, where are you going at this time of night?" "Sesshomaru-sama said that I can go and visit the village herbalist on getting me something for my monthly cycles." "Oh well then you may be on your way. Be sure to come back." "Will do thank you." I continued to walk away from the palace and realized how easy that was. When I finally made it to the village I asked a villager if I could stay in the hut on the outskirts of the village for the night and the villager said that I could if I wanted since no one ever goes out there anyway. So I went on my way to the hut and settled down for the night.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha although I wish I did.**_

**Back at the palace**

Sesshomaru is up and about doing his duties as the lord of the west. "Milord, when will you realize that we should be planning our wedding and soon be mated and then we could talk about getting rid of that human of yours, since you won't need her anymore?" "Don't say such a thing to me about Rin and you should know your place since we haven't been mated yet." Sesshomaru dismissed Yumi and continued on what he was doing when Jaken came in. "Milord, breakfast is served, so would you be so kind to head on down now." Jaken walked out with a nod from Sesshomaru as a sign of being dismissed. He quickly finished up what he was working on and headed down to the dining room waiting to be served breakfast. When he reached the dining room all he saw was Jaken, Yumi and the servants that were serving breakfast. "Jaken where is Rin at?" "I don't know milord, she could still be sleeping." "Such a lazy human to be kept around the palace don't you think so milord?" "She could be picking flowers in the fields, in the library, or in the garden to escape reality." "Well then what kind of girl stays in the library?" "A Lady who is educated and wants to learn more about life and how things work around the world or just measly to entertain the mind with the fairytales that the library has. Yumi don't you like to be in the library or do you measly spend your day resting and doing nothing all day or do you like to read and train your heart out at something you wish to achieve?"

"Well milord I prefer to spend my day relaxing and enjoy my time doing nothing." "Hn. Rin can skip breakfast if she wants to." The servants came and served breakfast but to Sesshomaru he still doesn't know that Rin is gone.

**Village hut**

As morning came I realized that I should get going, knowing that I have to get away as far as I can from the palace. I ate a small breakfast and continued with my journey until I reached another village that no one knows about even Sesshomaru doesn't know. I asked a villager about the village leader. "I'm looking for the village leader. Do you know where I can find him?" "Oh you must be new here. Not a lot of people know this place. You can find him near the center of the village." "Thank you." I continued on my way to the center of the town and found that this town is populated with half-demons, humans and demons. I couldn't believe it as I got closer to the center of the village. I saw a man that looked like someone I know but I couldn't figure it out who it was. When I got closer they began calling my name. "Rin is that you? You've seem to be a lady now since you left with Sesshomaru-sama." As I got a closer look I realized that it was Shippo. "Shippo what are you doing here?" "I own this village. My mate Souten and I live here. This is where half-demons can find peace." "Well since I have nowhere else to go I was wondering if I can stay here." "Sure thing Rin you can stay. You know that you're welcomed here if you like." "Thank You Shippo. This is the weirdest birthday I had." "That's right it's your birthday today Rin. Happy Birthday." "Thanks Shippo, well I should go get settled in then." By the end of the day I've been thinking if I did the right thing and if Sesshomaru even noticed that I'm gone.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha although I wish I did.**_

**At the palace**

As dinner was nearing Sesshomaru still haven't seen Rin all day. Yuna walked past him and he stopped her to ask her of Rin's whereabouts. "Yuna have you seen Rin today?" "No milord I saw her yesterday and wished her a happy birthday since I wouldn't be able to see her today knowing that Lady Yumi needed me to help with some preparations for the wedding." "It's Rin's birthday today. I forgot all about it." "You mean you didn't remember at all milord, that it was Rin's birthday?" "No I forgot. I'm sorry Rin please don't be mad at me, maybe that's why I haven't seen her at all today." "Yuna I need you to come change this bedding for me!" "I'm sorry milord but excuse me Lady Yumi is waiting." Yuna then left Sesshomaru to his thought about the day. Sesshomaru thought it would be good to apologize to Rin about forgetting her birthday so he went straight for her room. When Sesshomaru got there he opened her door noticing that it was unlocked and walked in to find an empty room with what was left of Rin with a letter on the bed. It read: _Dear Sesshomaru-sama, I'm sorry but if you're reading this then I'm gone. I know that you would forget about me and soon realize that it was my birthday today and come to apologize. Don't worry milord it's alright really no need to apologize to a human who is nothing to you but to be fooled around with and disrespected in the palace. I've come to love the palace and I know that everyone has begun to respect me but that soon to be mate of yours. She despises me and we both know this, but what could I do? I'm just a servant serving under you. I just want you to know that no matter where I'm at or what I do I'll remember you and remember what you've done for me for the eighteen years I've been with you. I just want to tell you is that I love you and loved you for many years now. I understand that you can't return my feelings but I'm happy if milord is happy. I left because I couldn't stand the thought of milord being with someone else. You could call me selfish if you really wanted to because that's what I am is selfish because I want you all to myself. I'll make sure that I take care of myself and I hope you do the same just don't come looking for me because I'll never return if milord has Lady Yumi become lady of the west. All she wants is to become the Lady of the west and nothing more. She doesn't care how milord feels and that breaks my heart. I just want you to understand that nothing can change the way I feel and I'm only going to love you and no one else. So please take care and congratulations on getting married to Lady Yumi. Love, Rin_

Sesshomaru couldn't believe it Rin left him. He felt something like he's never felt before. Love. Sesshomaru walked out of Rin's room with the letter in his hands and realized that he's had a lady of the west with him all along but new acknowledged it. He figured out that he'll get rid of Yumi and find Rin because without Rin he was nothing. So he walked to the room where Yumi was staying in. "Yumi we need to talk." "Yes milord what is it that you wish to speak to me about?" "I'm not going to marry you. Now leave my lands or I'll execute you." "What! We're suppose to get marry next week when the moon is full." "I'm not going to marry you ever Yumi now get out of my sights and Yuna I need to talk to you." "Yes milord." Yuna got up and followed Sesshomaru out the room to the study. "I'm going to find Rin and in the mean time I would like for you to put her things in my room so when I bring her back we're going to wed. Have Jaken also to get prepared for the wedding between me and Rin." "Yes milord." With that said she went on her way and he went to find Rin. He carefully followed his nose and found her scent following to a village. "Milord what brings you here to our village?" a villager asked. "I'm looking for a girl name Rin who was here." "Ah she was indeed she stayed in the hut on the outskirts of town but left by dawn." "thank you I'll be on my way then."


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha although I wish I did.**_

He continued his journey until he reached another village and realized that he never been to it before. So he ventured to the center of the town to find the head leader of the village. "Shippo dear would you be so kind to help me out?" "Coming love just give me one second." Shippo stopped in his tracks when he caught the scent of Sesshomaru. "Sesshomaru-sama what brings you here to my village?" "I came looking for Rin. I want to ask her if she would come back with me." "Well she's in the hut if you want to talk to her." "Thank you Shippo." "Well I'll be on my way then." Shippo then left to walk around the village to make sure that everything is alright. Sesshomaru walked into the hut and found Rin holding a baby demon in her arms. "Rin?" "Sesshomaru-sama, how did you find me here? What are you doing here anyway?" "I came here to find you and I found you because I followed your scent all the way here. Why did you leave me alone?" "What are you talking about you left me well was going to leave me." Rin got up and put the baby on the futon before approaching Sesshomaru. "Let's talk outside since the baby is sleeping." She walked past him and outside to sit under a sakura tree. Sesshomaru followed suit and sat down next to her. "Why did you leave especially on your birthday? Can't you see that I need you?" "Sesshomaru-sama can't you see that you were going to be wedded next week so you won't be lonely besides all you ever wanted was a pure heir so don't pull the whole I'm alone thing with me. I'm done going through everything to get my heart broken."

"Rin you're not. You never asked me about how I felt. You never gave me a chance to." "Why should I you're going to be wedded." "No I'm not I called it off. I can't marry someone who isn't you Rin can't you see that. I need you and only you." "Stop playing with my heart and leave me." "You're going to be coming back with me to become the lady of the west I don't care if you don't want to I'm making you." He then leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips. Rin was shocked and couldn't believe that her lord was kissing her. When they pulled away Sesshomaru went to wrap his arms around her waist to pull her into his lap. "I said that I needed you and I meant it. You're all that I've ever wanted so please don't leave me by myself." "What about having kids they will be half demons milord." "But they will be cute like their mother and have their father's strength to handle any situation." "Alright I'll go back with you." "Rin one last thing." "What is it?" "Happy Birthday love." He kissed her on the head and admired her like she was the only thing in the world. "We should get going." "yeah let's go before it gets dark out." Sesshomaru and Rin went on their way to the western lands only to be surprised by the whole palace. As they got there the wedding began and Rin was so nervous about the mating that is soon to follow. When the wedding was over Sesshomaru and Rin went to Sesshomaru's bedchamber to get ready for the mating.

"Don't be nervous Rin I won't hurt you. It'll hurt the first time but after that it won't hurt anymore." "I know I trust you Sesshomaru-sama." "Just Sesshomaru now Rin." "Alright Sesshomaru." Sesshomaru walked up to Rin and kissed her lips with passion. Her hands went to his silky soft hair while his were wrapped around her waist. He licked her bottom lip asking for entrance when she complied he thrust his tongue in her mouth to explore. He heard a soft moan coming from her and he soon began to remove her kimono. Soon she was nude in front of him. When they pulled away for air she looked down and realized that she was nude and started to cover up. He was admiring her body from her perfect breasts which weren't small or big but just the right size to fit in his hands. Her perfect body that had all the right curves and the toned muscles that she got from her training to her long shaped legs that looked flawless, she was perfect in every way for him.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha although I wish I did.**_

"Don't you're beautiful Rin." She blushed at the comment and soon he was kissing her again and they began to move towards the futon. When the back of her legs hit the futon he carefully laid her down without breaking the kiss. When they pulled away for air again Sesshomaru undressed himself and moved on top of Rin settling between her legs. "Sesshomaru how is that going to fit in me?" "It will Rin don't worry although it will hurt the first time but I'll go slow." Rin nodded her head and Sesshomaru continued to kiss her lips and made a trail down to her neck. He licked and nipped her neck for a while and continued his path until he reached one of her breasts and captured a nipple into his mouth. Rin grasped when he put her left nipple in his mouth and she was getting breathless. "Ahh…Sesshomaru" He moved from left nipple to the right and attacked that one while playing with the other in his left hand. Rin couldn't take it much longer and she was gasping and moaning louder.

"Mhmmm…Sesshomaru" The louder her moans got the harder Sesshomaru got and he moved down lower and lower until he reached her clit and start licking and sucking then he inserted a finger and started to pump in and out of her. "Ah…Sessh…Sesshomaru." Then he added another finger and started to stretch her out soon Rin couldn't take it anymore and climaxed into Sesshomaru's mouth all the while he's pumping in and out of her. After that was over Sesshomaru was kneeling between her legs with the lust filled look. "Rrriiinn…are you ready for this?" Rin not trusting her voice she nodded her head. Sesshomaru then placed his member at the opening of her womanhood. "I'm sorry love." He then pushed into her and tears leaked out from her eyes. He kissed her forehead and waited until she adjusted to his size before moving. When she felt her move her hips against his Sesshomaru started to pump in and out of her. "mhmmmm…Se-Sesshomaru…it feels so good." He smirked at her words and started to move a little faster.

Sesshomaru soon felt his demon side wanting to get out of control. "It's alright Sessh let it out I'll handle it." Sesshomaru then let his beast take control. Soon he was continuously pumping in and out of her extremely fast for any human to go and Rin took it all in while moaning. Soon she felt her climax coming and went over when she felt Sesshomaru reach a hand down to her clit and rubbed it. "AHHH….Sesshomaru!" she climaxed and soon Sesshomaru followed and bit down on her neck. She didn't feel the bite since she felt like she was on cloud nine. Sesshomaru pulled out of her and laid next to her pulling her into his arms and they both drifted to sleep. The next morning Rin was sore and she felt to muscular arms holding her and she remembered why she was sore. "Sessh?" Sesshomaru didn't answer her since he was in a deep sleep so Rin got out of his hold and left to the bathroom that Sesshomaru had. Rin turned on the water and stepped in. She winced at the pain but soon relaxed. Sesshomaru later woke up and realized that Rin was missing when he noticed that the bath was running 'She must have been sore from last night.' Sesshomaru got up and headed towards the bath and decided to get in as well. Rin suddenly felt the water move and jolted up but soon calmed down when she saw Sesshomaru. "Sessh I love you." "I love you to Rin more than anything." Rin was shocked she couldn't believe that it was Sesshomaru that was saying this to her. "Come let's go back to bed. I woke up and you were gone from my arms. I missed you Rin." "I'm sorry milord but I was up bathing to get rid of what happened last night." "Sesshomaru now not Sesshomaru-sama or anything else just Sesshomaru Rin." They both got out of the bath and went back to bed where Rin slept in his arms until it was ready for dinner.


End file.
